The Intentionality of Choice

For many, this time of the year offers an opportunity to reflect on the past and make resolutions for a future reality. Even if you’re not inclined to make a new year resolution, I invite you to bring attention to what matters through the intentionality of choice, by bringing full consideration to the subtler vibrations of what is calling your heart! 

It is akin to moving beyond autopilot, engaging in every activity with the attention a pilot might give to landing a plane. 

As complex, multiple-dimensional individuals, we live in systems and have learned to adapt to their ebbs and flows through our moment-by-moment choices. Dr. William Glasser’s Choice Theory emphasizes that all behavior is chosen and is driven by the desire to satisfy the need to:

  • be free
  • have fun
  • to survive
  • be powerful
  • be loved and accepted

When individuals are intrinsically motivated, they behave and act from a sense of volition and choice. They recognize – they have control over their behavior – and the freedom to chart a course.

Oxford Languages defines choice as an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. 

Two possibilities might be too dualistic … pitting one off the other … so consider offering yourself enough possibilities to feel whelmed (yet not overwhelmed). 

When individuals are open to possibilities, they arrive at a place they want to go, that they may not have known they wanted to get to. 

Since organizations are comprised of individuals, when they are encouraged to be autonomous, self-determined, and connected to one another within organizations, both they and the organization thrive.

Encouraging autonomy with resources and accountability leads to mastery and engagement. 

Organizations that cultivate a culture that promotes autonomy grew at four times the rate of control-oriented firms and had one-third of the turnover. They encourage their employee’s choices of mastery, connection, and creativity of their talent. 

Individuals have different desires. The best strategy for a leader would be to figure out what’s important to each individual.    

From the individual and organizational perspective, what possibilities await you in 2024?  

With the opportunity to coach more than 1,000 individuals, I am uniquely positioned to understand the evolution of individual, interpersonal, and organizational choice management.

A central tent of BETA Coaching & Consulting is choice – working with clients to chart the pathway that will serve to satisfy their unique needs. This is fostered through an inclusive approach, being an intentional, trustworthy partner, and listening deeply, while partnering with the client to realize their insights.   

Rayner and Bonnici explore how intentional restructuring of social and environmental arrangements brings about social change — be it in healthcare, racial justice, or education reform — in their book, The Systems Work of Social Change: How to Harness Connection, Context, and Power to Cultivate Deep and Enduring Change. I draw from this book that system work is akin to purpose in action — embedded in principles and practices that cultivate a more peaceful and just world by engaging the primary actors in the change process while limiting unintended negative consequences.

Rayner and Bonnici offer many case studies of our individuals and organizations creating social change — each chapter offering a wealth of perspectives. This is a must-read for anyone interested in the day-to-day actions and relationships, and how they are as much about the ways we work as they are about the outcome we pursue. Centering the collective identity within groups — to explore new ways of seeing the current situation with new awareness to shift to a new perspective.

What will you be reading this winter? Love to hear from you. Share this with me on LinkedIn and let’s start a conversation.

 

Imagining Manifests What is Possible

As Chief Possibility Director and Founder of BETA Coaching & Consulting, I believe possibilities are inherently a part of the coaching conversation and overall journey. I consider possibilities as the sweet spot of seeing what might be possible beyond the why; beyond the conceptual and the thinking mind. 

And I invited Karen to drop into the possibility for her future and explore deeply what she would like to celebrate in six months as a result of working with a coach. 

Karen, a 53-year-old divorcee, recently moved to a new community. Through my assessment, I learned it was Karen’s first time living alone. She entered the coaching process to explore what it might mean for her to be more comfortable in her new environment, while continuing her sobriety journey. I also learned sleep was an issue, and she felt decreasing her weight would benefit her overall well-being.

Coming to coaching with clarity, transparency, and vulnerability, in our first session Karen spoke candidly and intimately about her three years of sobriety, substance use, complex PTSD, and social anxiety. To manage her anxiety and stress, Karen incorporated breathing techniques, meditation, and art therapy into her lifestyle.

In terms of a first step towards being more at ease in her community, while working towards better sleep hygiene and weight management, one thing top of mind for Karen was to devise a plan to explore her new neighborhood. 

These explorations would consist of walking short distances that felt safe, say a five minute walk to the post office, and ensuring to make eye contact with at least one stranger. This would allow her to slowly adapt to the surroundings, as well as manage her feelings of social anxiety. Karen bravely embraced both with an open mind. 

As our sessions proceeded, we unpacked how she would create a new space for herself, as a newly divorced person, living on her own for the first time. 

Karen found a church and a women’s group that she wanted to participate in. Both venues offered opportunities to acclimate to her community, engage with others, and take part in rewarding engagements, such as offering meals to individuals who are unhoused or in a sobriety program. 

Through entering these engagements, at a rate and speed that she controlled, Karen remained extremely sensitive to what activates her PTSD and social anxiety responses. Moreover, she developed ways to engage with others — frequency, length of time, location, what she would say yes to — that would be supportive. Karen eased into these new testing grounds with curiosity, observing the wins and learning from what did not work well. 

Our continued sessions and discussions led to light being shone on the historical choices Karen identified as embedded in a lack of self-trust. In one of our sessions, she had the insight, “If I’m able to trust myself, I could then connect better with others. And I could trust them.” Although a work in progress, Karen is gradually building the muscle to trust herself for better, more meaningful connections.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Karen’s story, where we delve further into her insight and reveal additional steps, she’s taking toward giving her well-being vision more life. 

———————

At BETA Coaching & Consulting, we partner with clients to co–create ecosystems of well–being that help the individual’s and the organization’s purposes be in harmony with one another. We believe that well–being is not achieved alone; it is an interconnected societal web where we strive to thrive.

Ready to begin your well-being journey?

———————

Disclaimer: Unless otherwise indicated, all the names in writing above are fictitious to protect the individuals’ privacy. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.