Category: Inclusive Well-Being

Resilience Takes a Communal Effort

The thinking is that resilience is something we find within ourselves only when tested. It is an internal grit that is supposed to allow us to bounce back stronger than before. When the phrase “bounce back” is linked with the word resilience, it is often describing the difference between a successful or an unsuccessful outcome, but does not acknowledge the person’s emotions, what was lost, what needs to be grieved, what needs to be healed, what will be different or the same, and how choices might be made going forward.

Language can be subject to individual interpretation, and given our cultural and linguistic differences, being clear when using a word like resilience is paramount. Resilience means different things to different people, so understanding how that word and the corresponding behaviors are interpreted by the person is essential in determining where the individual is on their journey.

Out of Necessity

Resilience is not purely an individual characteristic. Our resilience responses are personal and shaped by our unique history, personality, and personal context. More importantly, it is a community activity. Given that we are interconnected beings, cultivating and maintaining authentic connections can broaden our perspective in learning different ways of managing, leading, and handling crises. It’s the actual interactions themselves, particularly with a diverse group of people, that allow us to get through anything that’s difficult.

“Necessity is the mother of invention,” and, in this case, the discovery of the self is a result of the adversity experienced. Resilience happens when there is no other choice. It includes processing and understanding our response to stress and challenges, while actively working through them.

Resiliency can be seen both positively and negatively. It is neither a choice nor advocated as something to strive for! It is more than the ability to recover quickly or bouncing back. Resilience is about lived experiences and personal development during difficult moments. While no one desires to face trauma, systemic racism, or other adversities, when they occur, lives can be reshaped with personal and communal systems of support.

For People of Color and other marginalized groups, deciding to be resilient is not optional. Systemic racism, living in poverty, not earning a livable wage, subpar housing conditions, inadequate schools, and diminished mental and physical health might leave People and Color feeling like they are in a Whac-A-Mole machine — getting knocked down, getting up, then knocked down again. To demand resilience might be a form of oppression and harmful given the historical systemic hardships endured because resiliency is a matter of survival.

When too much is too much 

Too much resilience could make people overly tolerant of adversity. There is a BetterHelp commercial that beautifully demonstrates this attitude of over-tolerance to adversity, where the self is objectified and pushes through the distress with grit. When we treat ourselves as objects and are not attuned to the energy that is our source, adaptive competence becomes maladaptive. Extreme resilience could drive people to become overly persistent in resisting support and taxing their system to the point of distress. 

Fostering Resilience

Given our adaptive capacities and social determinants, resilience can be either positive or negative. It manifests differently for each of us, and there is no single approach. Self-compassion is called for in these difficult times, with the key factor being vulnerability, naming and acknowledging our emotions, and declaring what is needed. 

Being in environments that are safe enough to have our needs met is critical. When we trust ourselves and those around us to share deeply about difficulties, our confidence to ask for and receive help is shored up. A learned attribute, resilience is developed through a strong sense of self-efficacy, self-trust, and self-esteem in our relationship with ourselves, in community with others. Recognizing the dynamic nature across the lifespan and racial identities allows us to better understand the potential impact of an event and how we respond differently. Superseding bouncing back, it might be life-changing.

Conclusion:

The next time you think about simplifying the resilience process to bouncing back, reconsider how you’re defining it. Also, make room for the uncomfortable, while knowing when too much is too much. Collectively, we are experiencing numerous social and global crises, such as a pandemic, climate crisis, mental health crisis, racial unrest, military conflicts, financial crisis, political unrest, and a drug epidemic. It is important to make space and acknowledge our individual and collective pain and suffering, as well as how we wish to process and heal. At the same time, take time for moments of joy.

Resiliency is a communal process. Be aware that multiple conversations might happen at once, including the individual, the system, the historical, and the societal conversations that connect us all to our well-being.

According to Four Arrows and Narvaez, “worldview goes deeper that culture, religion, or philosophy.” While the Indigenous worldview does not belong to a race or group of people, the Indigenous cultures still hold on to their traditional place-based knowledge about living this worldview.  

“Restoring the Kinship Worldview” shares twenty-eight Indigenous Worldview Precept Dialogues allowing for a deep sense of kinship with all. Immense wisdom is shared in this collection, representing a variety of Indigenous voices. It explores the depth and breadth of human survival and the well-being of future generations.

During the 2019 United Nations Global Assessment Report on Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services, it was referenced that the Indigenous worldview is a vital consideration in rebalancing life systems.  After reading this book, it became so evident that embodying an Indigenous worldview takes into consideration the well-being of all and that “we are not autonomous, self-sufficient …nothing that we do we do by ourselves.” Generosity is the highest expression of courage, and, during this time, being free with how we use resources and interact with each other on the planet is so key to our longevity. I recommend reading this timely and profound book.

To learn about ways to care for your mental health, check out National Alliance of Mental Illness website.

Mental Health Month | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

The Social Status of Busyness

Recently in a coaching conversation, the individual said she had 12 million things to do and had to die or quit her job to focus on her well-being. I paused. I then asked the individual how her words landed for her. There was silence, then she said she would not talk to a friend that way. Since coaching is centered on the client, I asked how open she is about exploring the language and action that would support how she uses her time.
I believe all we are and aspire to be as individuals are inextricably tied to our well-being – physical, emotional, relational, occupational, and spiritual. How we perceive agency over our well-being influences our actions in moving toward the desired direction. When time becomes a currency, and we feel we don’t have enough of it, we function from a scarcity mindset (time-poor). Putting off today what we think we might have time in the future to take care of. I wonder when we will offer ourselves the gift of time to take care of this “one precious life.” In the U.S., busyness has become a social status that rivals wealth. Often when you ask someone, “how are you doing?“ a reply might be that they’re “so busy,” because it has become a badge of honor indicating their self-importance. If we are compensated solely based on output, it can send a mixed message, with the price being our personal well-being.

Going Above and Beyond

Organizations with a “squeeze ‘em” approach to driving productivity can inadvertently demoralize their employees. When employees feel that they must go above and beyond constantly to maintain their position, they have a weaker understanding of their job description and might feel diminished, powerless, and tapped out. There is a diminishment of their status, agency, and autonomy in bringing meaning to their work. While overproducing can be a lucrative, competitive advantage for organizations, the cost to the employees might be burnout, mental health distress, and physical illnesses and injuries. Job creep, the incremental and gradual increase in work responsibilities, results in an overload on employees that can lead to exhaustion, lowered well-being, and decreased productivity.

I Exist Because I’m Busy

When I explored my relationship to time – I will admit there was a satisfaction in being busy – it bolstered my sense of importance and worth and signaled to the team that I was a critical contributor. When I stopped to ask myself how I wanted to use the precious time granted each day, I explored how being busy has become a form of distraction. Life is filled with a million and one different things to do, and since there are only 24 hours in a day, how will you choose to use that time? Most of us are operating from a place of time poverty, where we permit leisure time to be discretionary. When we pour disproportionate energy and time into being impressive at work, and/or prioritizing the demands of friends and family, our inner voice gets muted. The overachiever voices overlooks our values and how we’re spending our time. How we spend our time is more important than the quantity of time we spend on something. Since many of us cannot walk away from a demanding position, recrafting how work and time are utilized is one strategy to explore.

Craft More, Hustle Less

Organizations with an inclusive well-being mindset listen and invest in their employees. They encourage employees to pursue job crafting that aligns behaviors with motivations and needs. The result is more energy and empowerment that can shift toward their responsibilities. The adage, “if you want something done, give it to a busy person,” might be a misnomer when considering the time limitation. Leaders have an opportunity to job craft to motivate employees to perform at a high level while giving them space to care for themselves when curating a social contract of engagement at work:
  • Share our intent at the beginning.
  • Express our desired outcomes (needs/wants).
  • Invite feedback when behaviors are misalignment with intent.
  • Set the stage (a reciprocal roof) for a mutual process.
  • Abide by (change) the Social Contract as the relationship evolves.
Then, the employee has the opportunity to reflect on how they would like to engage with their day, making intentional quality time feel valued. Here are a few strategies to consider:
  • Time block: set aside a specific amount of uninterrupted time during the day.
  • Manage time: ensure meetings have a clear agenda and schedule breaks throughout the day.
  • Minimize distractions: specify parameters for checking social media and responding to email messages.
  • Unplug and embrace idleness: sit still, gaze out a window, and daydream.
An Individual’s well-being is not achieved alone. We will never be self-sufficient or independent, nothing living is. We are mutual contributors and beneficiaries in this ecosystem. So, consider which practices, habits, rituals, and understanding will inform your relationship with yourself and time and the value it will bring to your well-being. How would you like to engage in your life – professionally and personally – while contributing to the world? To quote Thelonious Monk, are you “off time yet perfectly on time”.

I was looking for a light read and picked up “Inciting Joy.” I was immediately captivated by Ross Gay’s second essay, “Through My Tears I Saw (Death: The Second Incitement)” and how he shares his teenage concept of his Dad.  “I became thoroughly unenthralled with my old man, annoyed and embarrassed by his arrogance, his bluster … now I recognize his full-of-sxxxxxxs in my own…” There is an intimacy and honesty not often heard and experienced in a world that is about branding the best versions of ourselves (publicly).

The essays in this book are deeply personal and reflective, speaking of relationships with self and others, death and dying (“when you are ninety-four you are dying more clearly than … say, twenty-four”), losses (“we were edging toward the world without this person we loved”), grief (“grief is the metabolization of change”), deprivilege (“the withholding from some of the means of life”), blessings, and the joys in between the sorrows. 

The garden serves as a vehicle in which Ross shares his perspectives of life, “a healthy garden is an entangled system of truly countless mutual contributors and beneficiaries, on which the gardener is but one.”  Not a light read, this gave my heart much to consider, and I delighted in each essay’s journey as Ross planted the seed of what is to bloom in each essay. “When that one thing changed, everything changed.”

National Poetry Month

In honor of National Poetry Month, sharing this poem by Sarla Estruch. Sarala is a British writer, poet, and researcher. Her poetry explores the long legacy of colonization, intergenerational trauma, grief, and disconnection. At the same time, balanced with the power of love and connection.

Blue Mountain

We had passed halfway point.
Every muscle in my body was singing,
brimming with lactic acid. We’d been arguing,
arguing as we climbed, about the best way
to climb a mountain, though I’d never climbed
a mountain before and you’d topped the summit
countless times. I wanted to enjoy the walk:
the winding path fringed with unfurling ferns
and bamboo stalks, gold and tall. You said:
To get to the top, you’ve got to look up.
Kept leading us off the path to the short cuts
Through the underbrush over rocks and red soil.
Impossible to gain stable footing, we kept on
Moving, the forward motion propelling us
A step ahead of stumbling. It started to rain.
You took my hand. The air thickened
with the scent of parched earth being pummeled
by water, particles of dust darting up, resisting
their muddy fate and already I was drenched,
had never been so wet; I’d never been so close
to the clouds with the rain coming down
and kept on going. At the summit we stood,
hearts swollen with victory and relief, though
thick grey mist had stolen the famous view
of the north and south coasts of the island.
Later, in the guesthouse in the valley,
you tell me of the Taino and Maroons who
escaped slavery by fleeing to the Blue and
John Crow mountains; it was here, in unmapped
land colonists dared not enter, that they gathered,
grew strength, and planned their resistance.

A Human-Centric Approach

Work is a vital part of life, shaping our sense of purpose and well-being. More than 160 million people are part of the U.S. workforce, spending one-third, if not more, of their day working as knowledge employees. The pressures of hustle culture, where busyness is a source of pride, trap many in the delusion of relentless productivity.  However, we are seeing, the impact of toxic productivity on overall well-being. 

Workload pressures, the economic climate, and the challenges [aftermath] of the pandemic, employees [individuals] are emotionally stretched. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly 3 in 5 employees reported negative impacts of work-related stress in the wake of the pandemic. With the burnout crisis experienced by employees, organizations will benefit from holistic well-being strategies supporting their workforce while curating an inclusive culture where people feel they belong. 

Shaping the work culture

Leaders who visibly commit to the well-being, and who can have quality conversations with their workforce to address the factors contributing to this crisis will ensure engagement. 

According to the U. S. Surgeon Report, “regardless of their position, when employees feel appreciated, recognized, and engaged, their sense of value and meaning increases, as well as their capacity to manage stress.” Building good relationships and strong organizations requires listening, deeply listening with empathy. Understanding work from the perspective of the people doing the work can reveal what is broken and how it impacts them.

Managers hold a powerful role in shaping the work culture and employees’ well-being. Listening to their direct report to recognize the ways they engage with their work, the constraints faced, and factors that effects how the work is completed will allow the manager and the employee to co-create signposts for success. This collaborative approach empowers inclusive teams’ participation to build and determine how work is accomplished, fostering connections and moderating feelings of being overwhelmed.

When employees feel supported

Effective support starts when there is an understanding of what is needed across the enterprise, cultivating a purpose-driven workplace. Employee feedback can provide important insights and context, deepening the C-suite’s understanding and aligning the enterprise’s purpose with colleagues. Connecting the company’s purpose to environmental, social, and the goals of the enterprise can be a valuable way to support the organization’s talent.

Taking a human-centric approach invites leaders to fully evaluate this complexity of knowledge work. Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General, encourages organizations to examine workload and adequacy of resources to meet those demands (such as staffing, and coverage), reduce long working hours, and eliminate policies and productivity metrics that cause harm (such as limiting employee breaks). 

Time for creativity

A key to creativity is “the ha-ha stage”, which is only possible when there is an incubation phase that enriches the process. In the Harvard Business Review IdeaCast Podcast: Breaking Free of the Cult of Productivity, Madeleine Dore noted that for knowledge employees there needs to be time to slow down. Rest is not a reward. To show up powerful again the next day, our brain needs to recharge to retain more information. 

Intentionally looking out for biases that promote organizational design, work arrangements, and technologies where employees are constantly on further support time for renewal. Leaders are encouraged to job craft, where employees proactively shape the ways in which they contribute to the organization in a meaningful, rewarding, and consistent way that utilizes their strengths.

Purpose and belonging

When well-being policies and ways of working support all employees, it is a winning proposition. Listening and investing in employees, shows it’s okay for them to look after their well-being, whether it means being off-line during personal and family time or collaborating with leadership on how work will be executed. Simon Blake advised that companies “adopt a comprehensive, whole organization approach which recognizes that well-being and performance fuel one another.” An organization’s productivity and the meaning employees derive from their work do not need to conflict with each other. 

When humans are centered at work, caring community of purpose and belonging is promoted. “The most important asset in any organization is its people. By choosing to center their voices, we can ensure everyone has a platform to thrive.”  – Vivek H. Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General. Does this mean that thriving might be an element of striving?

Book A Discovery Session

A discovery session is largely influenced by a kaizen process, which is a philosophy based on the concept to change for the better through small modifications creating improvements. The session is centered on learning about one another including values, goals, and processes. 

The discussion will help determine our chemistry match and how collaborating will add value for you. There will be an opportunity to understand your needs and what is top of mind for you, especially what is it that you wish to improve upon. This is an opportunity for us to co-create a win-win partnership.

Some discovery session questions are:

  • What is your biggest challenge as it relates to ______?
  • How are you feeling about this challenge? 
  • What about solving the challenge is most important to you? 
  • How will you benefit from finding a solution to this challenge?

To schedule your no obligation appointment, email novelette@betacoachingconsulting.com or visit our calendar to book an available time.

“Dread Poetry & Freedom Linton Kwesi Johnson & The Unfinished Revolution” offers an expansive exploration of Jamaican poets grappling with the legacy of slavery and colonialism in the post-independence period. It also probes the influence of the “cast of outcasts” on creative expression.

Austin writes, “Johnson’s poetry has served to expose the mask that shields society’s inequalities while emphasizing black and working-class self-activity in the struggle for social change.”  Johnson’s poetry draws on his heritage, written in the Jamaican vernacular accompanied by dub (reggae) music.

A comprehensive review of the influences that shaped Johnson’s poetry, a blend of storytelling, history, and the political climate post-independence.  This is a rich account of the intellectuals, politicians and poets who influenced the Dread Poetry movement centering Johnson’s contributions to the movement. Johnson is only the second living poet to have been published in the Penguin Modern Classics series. I am looking forward to diving into that book next in the next couple of months.

Deep listening promotes empathy

For the speaker, the line between wanting to be reassured and wanting to be heard may not always be easy to discern.

Your friend is sharing how they had a difficult time at work with a colleague who was not forthcoming with information related to a time-sensitive project. Frustrated and upset, they convey the “events of the day.” You respond with a similar story about how annoyed you were with a colleague thinking it would bond the two of you with a shared difficulty.

Does this sound familiar?

Although most of us think we listen well, often we can’t wait to share our thoughts about what we’re hearing, which short-circuits the speaker from fully sharing their experience. I have been guilty of sharing a related story, thinking it would indicate my relatability around a similar challenge and engender solidarity. When I reflect on the exchange, I acknowledge the energy that took over and did not allow space for the friend to fully express what was emerging, then mentally kick myself. Aware that this is a tendency, I slip into when conversing with friends and family, I am being more intentional about not jumping in to share a story and attuning to the needs of the person speaking.

Many of us have mastered the appearance of listening, but it is not enough to maintain eye contact and reflect on what was heard. Listening is connecting with the speaker and engaging in a way that helps them feel understood. According to Nichols and Straus, to listen, well, it’s necessary to let go of what’s on our mind long enough to hear what’s on the other person’s mind.

It is not as natural as we may think. Listening well, is a daily, moment-to-moment, person-to-person, practice. Energy, and attention to how we show up with each other create a compassionate, meaningful connection. This involves suspending our self-interest in the service of being receptive to the speaker’s needs.

Listening is a complex process, compounded by modern distractions that further challenge our ability to genuinely listen. It requires taking in the information being communicated through the filters of both the speaker and listener, receiving, attending, understanding, and responding to what is being said, and for that matter, what is not being said. Noticing what limiting barriers are present can make a big difference. Trying to listen when you’re not up to it zaps our capacity to empathize. To connect.

Listening is an active process that takes effort. It is both a skill and an art, having a guide can be a helpful reminder of how to engage actively. While it is not a list of how-tos, it can be a tool to connect our entire body to the process. The heart of listening is empathy, an attunement, which is the essence of human understanding. A balance of thinking and feeling, being open to the somatic responses to what is being heard.

“Empathy — the human echo — is the indispensable stuff of emotional well-being.”

As is often the way with words that become familiar and overused, such as empathy, the sheer power of it can be oversimplified. One way to hold the essence of empathy is that it is an appreciation that is conjured up for the inner experience of another person, the bridge that strengthens relational bonds. We can’t give what we have not either given ourselves or have received. Tuning into ourselves allows us to extend the same generosity.

Building good relationships requires listening, and deep listening promotes empathy. The privilege of listening to another’s experience is a powerful way of moving closer to each other, transcending the relationship. I have been gifted the opportunity to coach more than 1,000 individuals, centering listening, inviting the client to explain their viewpoint, then seeking permission before presenting mine.

I started this article a few days before connecting with a friend for brunch whom I had not seen for about a year. Friendships are voluntary and reflect how we show up in the world with care and mutuality. The everyday human exchanges and the moments shared include daily observations, joys, obstacles, and dreams, which unburden the sense of isolation. This time, I’m happy to say that I was not mentally kicking myself on the drive home!

How well are you listening? Take this quiz and find out.

The difference between listening well and not listening well is the difference between being seen and seen with smeared glasses. How we interrelate, transfer information, connect, validate, acknowledge, hear, and listen is fundamental for our longing to belong. When I engage my heart and mind — the whole body — to be fully present for the speaker, there is this magical connection. Listening is a process that asks us to extend grace to each other, staying open to understanding what is being shared.

Nichols & Straus writes, “to be with other people authentically is no easy feat. This ability depends on an awareness of ourselves as self-contained individuals who relate by listening to and accepting other separate and autonomous individuals.” Listening is an outgrowth of extending care, to ourselves and another tied to our well-being.

May you have the gift of being listened to.

May you offer the gift of listening to another.

May we listen well.

——-

Resource List:

Nichols, M.P. and Straus, M.B. (2021) The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships (3rd Edition). Guilford Press.

Stone, D., Patton, B., and Heen, S. (2010) Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Penguin Books.

Book A Discovery Session

A discovery session is largely influenced by a kaizen process, which is a philosophy based on the concept to change for the better through small modifications creating improvements. The session is centered on learning about one another including values, goals, and processes. 

The discussion will help determine our chemistry match and how collaborating will add value for you. There will be an opportunity to understand your needs and what is top of mind for you, especially what is it that you wish to improve upon. This is an opportunity for us to co-create a win-win partnership.

Some discovery session questions are:

  • What is your biggest challenge as it relates to ______?
  • How are you feeling about this challenge? 
  • What about solving the challenge is most important to you? 
  • How will you benefit from finding a solution to this challenge?

To schedule your no obligation appointment, email novelette@betacoachingconsulting.com or visit our calendar to book an available time.

This Month’s Books:
Fuller’s search for belonging (understanding) to his biological family, the affinity felt with his caregiver, and all the ways he strived to belong and didn’t feel it speaks to his personal triumph given the racial prejudice endured.

There is a silencing, a constant restraint, that the author exercised in the spaces where he found himself disenfranchised, “so it was easier for me to think that any shabby treatment I received was because I was in care rather than because I was black.”

The son of Jamaican Windrush Generation immigrants in the UK, Michael Fuller, experienced being singled out or being regarded as different is the core of his memoir, A Search For Belonging. Leaning into his intellect and professional acumen, Fuller excels in the Britain Police Force – one could say despite tension experienced because of his race.

The epilogue unpacked the circumstance of his biological family and the emotional, psychological, and psychosocial difficulties of migrating to another country. “People brought up by their own relatives are told the stories, the mythology, of the family, and they carry this around inside them all their lives, defining who they are and where they came from.”

Catching the Light (Why I Write) contains fifty intimate vignettes of Harjo’s life’s journey. For me reading her words break my heart open.

She has a way of drawing this reader in as if the words were written from a deep abiding place connecting me to her experiences. I feel such resonance with this book, and anyone who has read Harjo’s work knows she does not leave anything out. She writes from a deeply honest and vulnerable place.

“We are all as actors, wearing the masks of family, generation, or occupation. We step into the story when we take our first breath. We will lay down the masks when we return to the spiritual jumping-off place.”

What have you read lately that broke your heart wide open, touching that tender spot, connecting you deeply to yourself?

… starting off on the right foot

During this time of the year, there is a tendency to make a resolution that leverages behavior in the coming year. The practice of making resolutions first caught on among the ancient Babylonians some 5,000 years ago, when individuals made promises in order to earn the favor of the gods and start the year off on the right foot. 

Whether or not you make a resolution, I invite you to consider, “how would you like to step into this new year physically and metaphorically?” As the adage goes, if you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there, so being intentional about what you desire to be is paramount. For many of us, we are still weathering the impact of a global pandemic which has shaken up who we thought we were and has opened an opportunity to redefine what we value.

Sometimes you have to figure out who you’re not before you can become who you are writes, Chenjerai Kumanyika. Whom have you become since COVID? Global pandemic? Racial unrest? War? Recession? Quiet Quit. A call to care for our mental health? The passing of family members and friends? And since there is no single formula, having a clear foundation grounded in our values is foundational in weathering the storms of life. For me, the new year signals a recalibration, becoming clearer about evolving values, and what it means to dynamically live into my well-being.

As you imagine what becomes possible in 2023, what is your heart calling for?

I have been gifted the opportunity to coach more than 1,000 individuals. This uniquely positions me to understand the individual–interpersonal–organization change management evolutions. Organizations that encourage their employee’s prosocial behavior promote positive social relationships by welcoming, helping, and reassuring others through these moments of adjustment.   

Dr. Murthy, Surgeon General of the United States, noted that organizations have an opportunity to reinvest in the nation’s workforce well-being, by showing that workers matter, their work matters, and they will be supported to flourish. Well-being is not only personal and subjective but also universally relevant. Although environmental factors – such as a person’s workplace – affects how they experience their well-being, such as their relationships with themselves, their interpersonal relationships with colleagues, the decisions they make, and the tools and resources they have access to – that play a role in how they might select to engage.

Fostering inclusive strategies starts with being intentional, trustworthy, listening deeply,  making collaborative interactions a priority, and enhancing individuals and organizational well-being. 

The strategy states that a holistic approach takes into consideration the individual – the interpersonal relationships – the organization – and the change management plan. 

We have a golden opportunity to curate inclusive initiatives – by unleashing the magic that will amplify individuals’ well-being by providing them with opportunities to identify and engage in habits to live their best life.

Life is a process and, as complex multiple-dimensional beings, we live in systems, and learn to adapt to their ebbs and flows. Every day is a new beginning to choose how we will thrive. Share what you’re adding to your ecosystem of well-being in 2023 and how we might be of service to you and your journey. 

One of my favorite activities is reading – for pleasure! I have a personal goal to read two books per month – on a great month four books.  Inspired to be a better storyteller, the final read of 2022, “How To Tell A Story.”

When you say something out loud, change is being shaped, expectations meet reality. A shift of perspective happens.  Although I may not be on The Moth stage sharing a story, the principles shared in this book will allow me to hone the art of storytelling. Whether I am talking about BETA Coaching & Consulting or about a loved one or an event that touched my heart it is essential to connect bringing the past and the present in this living moment.

It is not often that we are listened to without being interrupted. Storytelling is a lovely opportunity to share our vulnerability in that way, breaking down barriers, and increasing both understanding and human connections.  

As winter is in its full glory – and the earth is resting in preparation for the birth of spring – it is a wonderful time to curl up with a great book. This can be a time to reflect and nourish the mind and heart. On my nightstand are these books, which are in the queue to explore this winter!

What will you be reading this winter? Love to hear from you.  Share this with me on LinkedIn and let’s start a conversation.


Committed to transformative partnerships, BETA Coaching & Consulting YouTube Channel videos offer timely and insightful approaches to guide you and your organization on your well-being journey.

We believe that a well individual is integral to the well-being of society.

Adieu 2022

Winter solstice, December 21, marks the day with the shortest amount of sunlight and it is also the longest night of the year. The abundance of darkness balanced with the light of the sun happily co-exist to celebrate the universe’s mysteries.    

The end of the year and the coldest season in the Northern Hemisphere is quickly approaching, marking an opportunity for reflection and introspection. Consider taking some time to pause and enjoy the transition of saying farewell to 2022, while being open to what may unfold in 2023. 

With deep appreciation to you for the support and kindness extended to BETA Coaching & Consulting’s mission, find a cozy warm spot to complete this card noting your reflection in 2022 and aspirations for 2023.

Wishing you continued well-being! May you and your loved ones have a peaceful season.

It has been a year of personal and professional growth for me. Through the monthly e-newsletter, I have enjoyed sharing what was on my mind and in my heart this past year. Here is a montage of articles written in 2022 with each theme representing a value that is central to the service offered by BETA.

Share with us your favorite article – and what about it gave you pause for consideration.

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on.”

—Hal Borland, author, journalist, and naturalist.

What have you read lately?

The Shortest Day 
by Susan Cooper

So the shortest day came, and the year died,
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
They lighted candles in the winter trees;
They hung their homes with evergreen;
They burned beseeching fires all night long
To keep the year alive.
And when the new year’s sunshine blazed awake
They shouted, revelling.
Through all the frosty ages you can hear them
Echoing, behind us – listen!
All the long echoes sing the same delight
This shortest day
As promise wakens in the sleeping land.
They carol, feast, give thanks.
And dearly love their friends, and hope for peace.
And so do we, here, now.
This year, and every year.
Welcome Yule!

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Committed to transformative partnerships, BETA Coaching & Consulting YouTube Channel videos offer timely and insightful approaches to guide you and your organization on your well-being journey.

We believe that a well individual is integral to the well-being of society.

What it Means to be Connected

At times it feels like the desire for social connection is in opposition to the ways people are currently working. While this is a general viewpoint, most organizations use productivity, profit, and competition as the measures of success rather than connectedness. 

Work is a big part of our lives, with most of us spending  1/3 to ½  of our day working.  Having connections with our colleagues is crucial for our occupational and social well-being, yet many are dissatisfied. 

Is Work The Place To Connect?

Ted is looking at the screen of twenty-three other faces in their tiny squares. He is attending the monthly department meeting and listening to the director talk about how the team might feel more connected by being onsite once a month. Ted joined the team 10 months ago, and he has only connected with one other member of the team. Somewhat pessimistic, he wonders what would be different about a 90-minute onsite monthly meeting. What happens to the other twenty workdays in the month? To Ted, the director’s comments felt like an oversimplification of what he needed to feel connected to those strangers on the screen. 

According to Fisher & Phillips, work [gathering] doesn’t always promote meaningful connection. 

Employees are not recruited and hired to connect with each other. Rather they are hired for their skills and past successes. Additionally, organizations are structured to foster competition instead of collaboration, rewarding individual accomplishments, and fueling a zero-sum game mentality. This does not align with a connection mindset!

Add on to this fact underrepresented groups are 1.6X more likely to experience less connection than their majority peers. So, leaders who understand and tackle these historical factors that impact employees of color will promote a sense of belonging with underrepresented group members.

The article, “3 ways Black Workers Say Their White Colleagues and Managers Can Support them,” notes that people are more productive at work when they feel that colleagues see them with nuance — with unique passions, talents, and interests — rather than pigeonholing or stereotyping them based on race or gender. Is this aspirational? Are organizations getting closer to this reality?

Connect then Lead with Trust

Even though much has been written that employees who have relationships with five friendly colleagues at work feel connected, many leaders simply do not know how to achieve connectedness in the workplace. Dr. Brené Brown writes, “cultivating meaningful connection is a daring and vulnerable practice that requires grounded confidence, the courage to walk alongside others, and story stewardship.” There is a lot here in Brown’s definition of connection. 

Language matters and understanding how words in the statement above resonate with you and your colleagues is helpful in getting closer to establishing meaningful connections. Before requiring your workforce to return to the office as a form of creating connection, one might consider inviting your team to share what is important to them about feeling connected at an individual and collective level. 

Back to Ted’s story. As Ted scanned the Zoom squares, he noticed only three BIPOC presenting staff members out of the twenty-four including himself. The chatter that ensued did not include the voices of the BIPOC staff or their direct reports. Those talking the most were all at the director or manager level. 


Which do you think comes first — connection or trust? I would suspect for Ted that the foundation of trust has not yet been established to build connections. For employees of color, lack of connection is not new, and the workplace is not often where they traditionally forge friendships.

Connections are all-inclusive. Engaging employees involves prioritizing and building relationships, especially among dispersed teams to nurture connections. Managers can make processes easier by getting to know the unique needs of their direct reports, then creating opportunities for remote colleagues to socialize, collaborate, and build camaraderie. The quality of the connection is directly correlated to an inclusive mindset that starts by cultivating a welcoming environment on day one. 

Leaders who foster connections demonstrate empathy, trust, and compassion to create a safe environment for colleagues to excel. They treat employees as individuals while looking for new ways of working and relating to colleagues. A key attribute of feeling safe is the ability to share emotions. A question to ask is how your organization is supporting colleagues’ expression of emotions in a safe space and without repercussions. This is the work that builds trusting relationships. 

Speaking from my personal experience, speaking up and being listened to are not equal across the hierarchical structure of an organization. It takes a lot of energy — lots of mental energy — attention and analysis to authentically be oneself in an environment where psychological safety is not demonstrated across the organization. All of this conflicts with cultivating genuine connections.

Connection is Crucial 

Work is a large part of how we spend our time and define ourselves. Therefore, professional connections can be crucial to our sense of occupational and social well-being. Pursuing meaningful connections empowers each of us to achieve our full potential. 

Judith Jordan states that there has been an evolution in the perspective connection from one of survival to purpose and meaning. As social beings, we derive meaning from our collective connection and working cooperatively together. We have a golden opportunity to transform and innovate how we connect with each other at work. It is worth repeating Dr. Brené Brown definition of connection, “as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, valued: when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” 

The opportunity now is to facilitate genuine connection on purpose and without judgment! At BETA Coaching & Consulting, we curate inclusive well-being strategies with our clients and welcome the opportunity to learn about your experience with meaningful connections at work.  

Book A Discovery Session

A discovery session is largely influenced by a kaizen process, which is a philosophy based on the concept to change for the better through small modifications creating improvements. The session is centered on learning about one another including values, goals, and processes. 

The discussion will help determine our chemistry match and how collaborating will add value for you. There will be an opportunity to understand your needs and what is top of mind for you, especially what is it that you wish to improve upon. This is an opportunity for us to co-create a win-win partnership.

Some discovery session questions are:

  • What is your biggest challenge as it relates to ______?
  • How are you feeling about this challenge? 
  • What about solving the challenge is most important to you? 
  • How will you benefit from finding a solution to this challenge?

To schedule your no obligation appointment, email novelette@betacoachingconsulting.com or visit our calendar to book an available time.

What have you read lately?

In reading a review of Innovation Starts With I by Saleema Vellani on Goodreads, I was struck by this statement, “Are you in the process of reinventing yourself or your organization? Innovation Starts with I will help you future-proof yourself through a transformative journey of self-discovery.”

Whether we are reinventing ourselves on a small or large scale — humans’ reinvention is so elementary to who we are. You could say it is a survival instinct. Saleema takes us on a journey using the Ripple Impact Framework of I, WE, WORLD, with self-awareness as a core element for innovation.

As with coaching, self-awareness can move a person out of stuckness. When we innovate, we move into a growth space, building on what has already been done. It is about leveraging non-obvious ideas. 

Living in an interconnected world, our growth is intertwined with others in community.  Saleema proposes that we innovate when we have a solidarity squad, a supportive network, that helps fuel our growth. 

BETA-sweet-spot-mapping-tool There are lots of tools and frameworks in each of the chapters — allowing the reader to put into practice the concepts shared throughout the book. I could not resist completely the Sweet Spot Mapping tool in the book.

BETA is on YouTube


Committed to transformative partnerships, BETA Coaching & Consulting YouTube Channel videos offer timely and insightful approaches to guide you and your organization on your well-being journey.

We believe that a well individual is integral to the well-being of society.

A Social Contract for Engagement

After a year of leaving voice messages and sending cards to mark special occasions, Brenda wrote a letter to Stephanie making sure all was well with her and the family. In her final communication, Brenda asked Stephanie if she had done something to offend her. Stephanie had not responded to any of Brenda’s communications in more than a year — and saying it was confusing to Brenda would be an understatement. She considered Stephanie a good friend — friends who shared intimate parts of their lives, been at each other homes, and supported each other in their professions. After all these months of silence, Brenda sadly resolved that the friendship had ended. 

This is not an uncommon phenomenon and a way of relating in the 21st Century.  Since the onset of online dating and social media platforms, terminating communication by unfriending, blocking, and ceasing to respond has become commonplace. This form of interpersonal communication, or lack thereof, has spilled over into professional and everyday interactions. “Ghosting differs from other relationship dissolution strategies insofar as it takes place without the ghostee knowing what has happened; who is left to manage and understand what the partner’s lack of communication means and is unable to close the relationship.”

As social beings — who are wired to connect with others — getting ghosted can be heart bruising. It can leave the recipient confused and wondering what happened or what they did wrong. In a society that professes a desire for connectedness, it is ironic how often we do the opposite. 

With digital technologies such an integral part of our everyday communications, the depth of our conversation has diminished, and individuals are reporting increased loneliness and decreased life satisfaction. Interactions can be dehumanized as we spent most of the day behind a screen with a sense of anonymity. 

Although we might wish to blame technology, the individual’s motivation underlying the behavior is also at play here. In a 2021 study published in the Psychology of Popular Media, those who were doing the ghosting noted that they lacked the necessary communication skills to have an open, honest conversation. In truth, they lacked confidence in having direct communication and viewed it as a kinder way to end a relationship. There also can be the rationalization that there is insufficient time to reply. 

As a society, the badge of busyness is held in high prominence. In general, we are biased toward creating a gigantic to-do list with little time to complete it due to an already packed schedule. Being productive, checking off what is on the list while piling on more, does not leave much room for interpersonal relating.

Research indicates adverse mental health issues and emotional challenges for those who have been ghosted. Beyond confusion, the ghostee might feel a sense of overwhelming rejection, wounded self-esteem and mistrust that might spill over into future relationships. For Brown and Black individuals who have been disenfranchised, ghosting further exaggerates feelings of not belonging, and lack of connectedness. Individuals who are frequently disenfranchised in our society, especially in the corporate world, can exacerbate the sense of invisibility or exclusion.

The [———] submits their application, which is reviewed by the Applicant Tracking System and resulted in an invitation to a series of interviews. However, they receive an email noting the company is moving forward with another candidate. When they reach out to the hiring manager requesting a meeting to discuss the reasons for not moving forward in the interview process ….. Radio silence.

More than 75% of job seekers said an employer had ghosted them after an interview and often they’re told not to take it personally. This still can be incredibly frustrating. Being ghosted by a potential employer / an employer could be a reflection of not-so-great business practices. It could also be indicative of poor processes with no emphasis on communication, unprofessionalism, the inability to keep up with the volume of work, and possible organizational changes (which go back to poor processes). 

Like interpersonal ghosting, organizational ghosting is a failure to communicate. Whether it is the hiring manager or HR, someone needs to have a direct or transparent conversation about how the candidate is stacked up against the pool of candidates. Not having the conversation might inadvertently convey to the prospective employee that they are not worth a conversation. And being a litigious society, prospective employers are concerned about opening the company to litigation given the candidates’ social identity. So not responding is a safe way out.

The quality of our relationships — family members, friends, or colleagues — is a predictor of social well-being and a sense of connectedness. Ghosting … “may place someone in a standby mode that might trigger the feeling of being ostracized,” which does not support our need for belonging, inclusion, and meaningful relationships. 

There is an opportunity to redefine and bolster communication skills to invite difficult conversations on a variety of topics and between all levels. The key is to leave the speaker feeling empowered to communicate in a respectful way and the recipient feeling respected. On paper (screen), this might sound like a simple process, yet in reality, it takes courage and vulnerability to have these conversations.

To be vulnerabravery — the conscious choice to be is a place of discovery — we become a reciprocal roof, which is a self-supporting structure, leaning on each other from all sides. Reframing Tara Jaye Frank’s Psychological Contracts approach, I invite you to consider establishing a Social Contract for engagement:

  • Share our intent at the beginning
  • Express our desired outcomes (needs/wants)
  • Invite feedback when behaviors are misalignment with intent
  • Set the stage (a reciprocal roof) for a mutual process
  • Abide by (change) the Social Contract as the relationship evolves

Following the social contract will help engage communication structures to see, hear, and honor the participants during the process. It empowers both people to arrive and leave well, while honoring a shared humanity. 

We live in complex times without a shortcut forgetting to know each other. “Caring for ourselves is deeply connected to the well-being and concerns of others.” 

According to Shawn A. Ginwright, PhD, “vulnerability is a like a portal to our humanity… it requires the delicate balance between risk and safety… structural vulnerability, emotional vulnerability, and our collective experiences contained in empathy are ways to move relationships from transactional to transformative.” share 

Book A Discovery Session

A discovery session is largely influenced by a kaizen process, which is a philosophy based on the concept to change for the better through small modifications creating improvements. The session is centered on learning about one another including values, goals, and processes. 

The discussion will help determine our chemistry match and how collaborating will add value for you. There will be an opportunity to understand your needs and what is top of mind for you, especially what is it that you wish to improve upon. This is an opportunity for us to co-create a win-win partnership.

Some discovery session questions are:

  • What is your biggest challenge as it relates to ______?
  • How are you feeling about this challenge? 
  • What about solving the challenge is most important to you? 
  • How will you benefit from finding a solution to this challenge?

To schedule your no obligation appointment, email novelette@betacoachingconsulting.com or visit our calendar to book an available time.

What have you read lately?

I read 5 of the 6 books on my summer reading list as well as a few others. The summer was a sweet time to sit under a tree and read. Many of the readings spoke to the web of humanity — the displacement of people — the longing in be-longing — loss — and poetry on resistance and hope. Read my Summer Reading Summary.

With the new month I am emersed in reading The Four Pivots: 

Dr. Ginwright is a captivating storyteller, who weaves in his personal experiences as a Black man, a father, a husband, a friend, a social justice advocate, a mentor, a foundation leader, and a professor. The book is divided into four parts: 

  • Pivot 1: From Lens to Mirror discusses the value of introspection, truth-telling, and the service of gaining clarity. 
  • Pivot 2: From Transactional to Transformative, closely aligns with  BETA’s Transformative Partnership philosophy. Ginwright writes, “In order to truly transform our society and create a new way, we have to become a better version of ourselves. In order to transform the system, the people in those systems have to transform.” 
  • Pivot 3: From Problem to Possibility explores the human fascination with “problem solving,” and the tendency to presume that awareness of the problem is the same as solving it. He encourages us to consider “possibility creating,” and then invite those close to the problem to innovate the solution.
  • Pivot 4: From Hustle to Flow, ask us to look at our addiction to frenzy. Here frenzy is defined as the desperate state of constant, unfocused effort and random behavior that consistently fails to produce desired results. This pivot suggests that the reader embrace a period of rest (not just sleep) by suspending worry and keeping an intention to restore.

Now, as the days get shorter, I’m looking forward to curling up under a blanket and taking in the perspectives of these authors. What is on your reading list for the fall?

BETA is on YouTube


Committed to transformative partnerships, BETA Coaching & Consulting YouTube Channel videos offer timely and insightful approaches to guide you and your organization on your well-being journey.

We believe that a well individual is integral to the well-being of society.

Forging Transformative Partnerships

Summer Issue

A transformation is something that is, realized – embodied – known – and, one could say, it is sacred. We have all experienced a transformation, albeit small or grand. Something magical occurs in those moments – and given the rapid speed of technology and our life – these moments might be viewed as mundane or expected. Yet when we pause to acknowledge or celebrate what it took to get there, then we can recognize the transformation that has occurred.

This article will dive into both the personal and organizational transformational process and offer a perspective on how to co-create, recognize, and embrace the change you desire. At BETA Coaching & Consulting, we believe that partnership to achieve the desired change can bring an unexpectedly positive result. Kegan & Lahey, in their book Immunity To Change, believed that we don’t know enough about why it [change] is so hard and what we can do about it. And as most of us may attest to, change can be hard, although we are very aware it is all around us, and there are times we desire it because it is necessary.

Change takes courage and, even when we step into a brave change space, it might be with ambivalence and that is why having a trustworthy companion, such as a coach/consultant, can be valuable for success. Courage is the ability to act despite the fear or the feeling of being unmoored. Ongoing reflection and experimentation provide insights into the course of action, shoring up one’s appetite for the change. This does not preclude failures, which are learning opportunities, further magnifying what about the change is valued and meaningful.

Before transformation can occur, clarity is needed to determine what is fueling the desired process. The client may move beyond a transactional state (an action), which has its merits, towards a willful interrogation of the current condition transforming it. With the identification of that  “one big thing” that will be altered by exploring the underlying issue. 

Individual Transformation:

When an individual enters the change process, often it is to develop a behavior strategy or consistent activity, draw on a strength (talent), put in place a support team, achieve an outcome, overcome a challenge, and/or a combination of all of these. During the exploratory process of the coaching session, the client will dive into the meanings and inner feelings behind the desired outcome. The coach forges a trusting relationship with the client based on the curation of a brave and safe space, while upholding confidentiality. Through the coaching process, the client’s awareness of their desired outcome increases, facilitating their growth and capacity to take on the change along with the support of their coach.

As noted in the September 2021 article, the space between now and the future holds the magic of possibility where transformation awaits. As the change is being contemplated, it is helpful to know where you currently are on the spectrum of change. Are you thinking about an innovative approach or reverting to a previous pattern?

Stage of Change

The Stages of Change Model, also known as the Transtheoretical Model, describes a person’s readiness to make a change or to take on a new behavior. This reflective process of ascertaining where you are in the Transtheoretical Model will inform how you’re fluxing between the different stages of the system you are in. Your individual transformation will alter the environment, so that you are able to manifest your future possibility.

Organizational Transformation

Organizational Transformation:

Organizational transformation is not significantly different because they are composites of diverse individuals, who share the norms and values that shaped the organization. It seeks engaging contributors in the process of defining and accepting change. Neglecting this human factor – or not bringing them along – can increase dissatisfaction, negatively impacting job satisfaction and engagement.

Even the most welcomed changes come with their challenges. So, when making changes at the system level, consider the complexity from various perspectives, how much support might be needed for change to occur, and how much self-reflection may be needed to address these complexities.

With a partner, you gain an understanding of the organization’s culture and potential impacts of the change by conducting a readiness assessment. This provides insights into the people’s challenges while potentially mitigating some of the human dissatisfaction that comes with changes. A frequent oversight by leaders when initiating change is to lean too much into the technical changes rather than solving the adaptive challenges. These are systemic and confront the status quo to change behavior, practices, and ways of working. 

An organizational change readiness assessment might aid in this self-reflection, which is defined as a collaborative approach in which people affected by the change understand their needs and wants within their respective roles. The aim is not to revolutionize their work by expecting them to accept change because they are now required to do so. It allows the organization to understand how the evaluation connects with the preparation for behavior change.

Transformation relies on deep relationships and a clear understanding of what is needed to make a unique impact, rather than just focusing on actions. Trust and a clear understanding of the partners’ value proposition are necessary. Although this takes time and is earned, it often leads to a long and profitable partnership.

Conclusion:

A transformative partnership is non-linear and takes time. Grounded in the mutual trust of all partners are a shared understanding of the goals and values of the change, agreed-upon roles and responsibilities, and the methods to implement the plan.

The building blocks to a successful transformative partnership include:

  • A clear vision for the change: Identify the agreed-upon better future state and ask the question, “why are the desired changes better than the way things are now?”
  • Value proposition alignment: Understanding what can be accomplished by working in partnership and creating a pathway for transformational change.
  • Co-creation/collaboration: Take time to gain an understanding of the context and desired change before starting the process.
  • Performance tracking system: Proactively monitor the strength of the partnership while course-correcting as needed.
  • Measuring changes: Determine if the changes are scalable and sustainable to meet the initial objectives.

Insights can be powerful and even exciting, yet they do not necessarily lead to transformation. Guiding individuals and organizations through a change process is a skill and an art. We look forward to partnering with you on your journey to transformative change. 

Book a Discovery Session:

Book a Discovery Session

A discovery session is largely influenced by a kaizen process, which is a philosophy based on the concept to change for the better through small modifications creating improvements. The session is centered on learning about one another including values, goals, and processes.

The discussion will help determine our chemistry match and how collaborating will add value for you. There will be an opportunity to understand your needs and what is top of mind for you, especially what is it that you wish to improve upon. This is an opportunity for us to co-create a win-win partnership.

Some Discovery Session questions are:

  • What is your biggest challenge as it relates to ______?
  • How are you feeling about this challenge?
  • What about solving the challenging is most important to you?
  • How will you benefit from finding a solution to this challenge?

To schedule your no obligation Discovery Session, email novelette@betacoachingconsulting.com or visit our calendar to book an available time.

Summer Reading Listing:

The winter and spring were especially busy, and I was not reading for pleasure as much as I liked. Then, I recommitted myself to intentionally carve out time for something I really enjoy, reading for pleasure, I immersed myself in the writings of Viet Thanh Nguyen.

In The Sympathizer, Viet Thanh Nguyen explores the refugees’ experience, the persistence of colonization, and what might need to happen for decolonization to occur. “Refugee, exile, immigrant – whatever species of displaced human we were, we did not simply live in two cultures, as celebrants of the great American melting pot imagined. Displaced people also lived in two time zones, the here and the there, the present and the past, being as we were reluctant time travelers.” There is a plot twist that made my jaw drop but I won’t give it away! This is a beautifully written, captivating, and must read book!!!    

The Committed, which is a sequel to The Sympathizer, is an equally engrossing read. Although not quite to the end, I am anticipating another plot twist.

 

I am excited by what is ahead in my reading queue for the summer.

What books are on your summer reading list?

BETA YouTube Channel

We will be sharing some thought-provoking ideas on our YouTube Channel in the coming week. Until then, enjoy this preview:

The Transparency Sweet Spot

As companies place more emphasis on diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace, there is a call for transparency. Between 1979-2022, workers’ productivity in the United States increased by 61.8% while the hourly pay has only increased by 17.5%. Americans are working harder without commensurate compensation.

Pay equity is one of many ways employees are calling for transparency, which is leading organizations to rethink their norms around how information is shared.

In BETA’s February e-Newsletter, I noted, “Although financial rewards are nice, welcomed benefits, employees whose work involves cognitive or creative skills are not motivated only by the Benjamins. More often they stay because their work and the people they work with brings meaning to their life.” And while employees might not stay with a company because they are offered more money, transparency gets to the root of the matter, the salary.

From an equity perspective, employees are calling for more transparency on pay equity and transparency, where salary ranges are noted for all positions. Sixty-eight percent of employees report that they would switch jobs if their new employer offered great pay transparency, even if their job responsibilities and salary remained the same.

A lot of valuable energy is wasted on managing impressions. As a society, we have become accustomed to managing optics, which leads to not frequently telling our full and complex stories. We’re worried about judgment and the repercussions of being completely honest. It takes time and humility to have authentic connections that promote greater systemic transparency – reinforcing trust – where we engage with each other in cooperative networks.

Being transparent for transparency’s sake is not helpful unless there is a clear understanding of what about it is necessary (important) as a personal value or a business imperative. Businesses that are the most transparent in the way they report results to achieve higher performance, expose unintended gaps in their systems, reduce business risks, and spark healthy discussions.

The Transparency Sweet Spot

Humans are complex and perfectly imperfect. Transparency is neither a quick fix nor a universal solution for authentic connections. It has been shown that complete transparency may decrease constructive reciprocal behavior, and may increase distrust, focusing too much on outcomes that lead to misrepresentation.

Although we highlighted a few dark sides to transparency, overall it is a good thing when the shift of knowledge is facilitated, trust relationships are enhanced, and authentic connections are fostered. When embedded in psychological safety, trustworthiness, and cooperation then the focus shifts to respecting the uniqueness of all the parties, positively influencing each other values, and encouraging transparency.

As you think about when to be transparent, perspective-seeking is a critical skill to hone, and talking with people to gain insight into the nuances of their views can be helpful. Centering confidentiality is important when asking others to share about themselves to ensure privacy when creating safe connections.

There are moments that can be governed by an ethic of care, which asserts that caring relationships are natural for human beings, which calls us to care for each other in an equitable way. These are moments when we ask, “how do we wish to treat each other? And does that mirror echo the greater values of the society or do we live by an alternative set of values?” I am not naïve to think that giving away organizational processes in the service of transparency is the way to go. Yet this is not an all nor nothing proposition. In BETA’s April e-Newsletter we highlighted The Third Way when faced with polarities – where we integrate the best of each side of the coin. Even this binary way of thinking might be limiting in capturing all the nuances, yet it is a start.

Reinforcing trust is a critical sweet spot in the transparency paradigm. Leaders can improve transparency within their organizations by

  • Consistently communicating the company’s vision, mission, and values, while making themselves known.
  • Encouraging employees to speak openly by not embedding structures that inhibit honest and direct communication often comes more naturally when senior leaders model this behavior.
  • Transparent reporting about effective governance in an organization, such as pay scale, hiring practice, and promotion metrics.
  • Sharing the information with stakeholders and explaining how they are acting on them.

I also noted in last month’s e-Newsletter that data does not provide insight. The relentless tide of data will only get stronger, and the power of big data is here, influencing openness and transparency. Every data set is telling a story, and organizations and individuals will need to determine what side of the conversation they support.

Transparency is not a universal solution, yet the benefits outweigh some of the challenges. Being transparent allows information to surface that increases accountability, improves perspective-seeking-taking skills, promotes fair decision-making, and signals mistakes are tolerated as opportunities to learn. Overall, transparency is a good thing when trust, psychological safety, balanced power dynamic, and collaboration are incorporated into the process. Transparency illuminates inequities and the systems that perpetuate them.

What are goals that transparency will help you achieve?

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