I had a retreat scheduled for September. As the time came to finalize travel plans, a quiet overwhelm set in—not from one major event, but from the slow build-up that life sometimes delivers. The kind of accumulation that creeps in and clouds your capacity.
This isn’t meant to be a downer. But I’ve learned that pushing through isn’t always the best course of action. Sometimes it’s a denial of what the moment is trying to tell us.
I’ve pushed through many times before. That muscle is well-developed. But this time felt different. Continuing would have meant slipping into an old habit—gritting my teeth, forcing it and checking the box. That no longer serves me. It wasn’t that I couldn’t pull it off. It’s that doing so would’ve betrayed something more important: alignment with my values and a deeper inner knowing.
At the same time, I was writing this newsletter, trying to meet a self-imposed deadline for BETA’s communication strategy. But the draft felt scattered. A mash-up of thoughts with no clear thread. I saved the document, thinking a good night’s sleep might bring clarity.
The next morning, it hit me: what I wrote wasn’t for you. It was for the deadline. It lacked the integrity I want BETA’s blog to carry—presence, intention, and what I hope you’ve felt in reading past posts: sincerity, vulnerability, and a willingness to examine ideas that speak to both my practice and our shared human experience.
So I looked back. I revisited past writings that reflected what I was sitting with: unmet expectations, shifting needs, and the ongoing work of aligning with our values.
If that resonates with you, if your energy feels scattered, your clarity fuzzy, or your drive a little shaky, maybe this is your invitation to pause. To take stock. To let rest be the strategy.
I’ll keep this short (though my short can feel long—I’m still growing into my name… a little story 😊). I invite you to revisit one (or several) of the blog posts from the past two years that explore these themes of unmet expectations, shifting needs, and the examination of values.
Or, if this moment of reflection already feels full, that’s enough too. It’s a sign you’re right where you need to be.
Looking Back, Moving Forward
March 2024—When Good Enough is Good Enough: Filtering out extraneous information calls for a conscious alignment with our values. Not everything we desire requires our attention, which means being intentional about where and how we focus.
April 2024—Finding Joy in the Unexpected: As I navigate this period of re-evaluation, I’m discovering a deeper purpose rooted in my values—reshaping the direction of my journey.
October 2024—The Shifting Nature of Expectations: There are moments when the path forward isn’t clear, and the weight of a decision feels overwhelming. That heaviness may stem from the systems we navigate, our internal state, past traumas, ongoing crises, or simply the complexity of life.
November 2024—Sustainable Well-Being: A Journey, Not a Destination: Well-being is deeply tied to the fulfillment of our needs. That makes it less of a destination and more of a lifelong journey.
January 2023—Starting Off on the Right Foot: There’s no single formula for navigating life’s storms. But building a foundation grounded in our values helps us weather them more intentionally.
February 2023—Deep Listening Promotes Empathy: Deep listening means suspending self-interest to be fully present with another. It’s an act of care. One that prioritizes the speaker’s needs over our own assumptions.
May 2023—Resilience Takes a Communal Effort: To move forward, we must ask: What needs to be grieved? What needs to be healed? What will be different, and how will we choose differently?
Madeleine Dore noted that for knowledge employees there needs to be time to slow down. Rest is not a reward. To show up powerful again the next day, our brain needs to recharge to retain more information.
September 2023—Living Our Values Every Day: I’ve been reflecting on how I honor my own needs—the way I would with a client. Psychologist, Stephen Porges, describes this as “well met,” a form of neural expectancy that allows us to feel attuned and seen.
The more we tune in to our emotions and the needs behind our words, the more empowered we are to express them. That clarity supports our values and strengthens both personal and collective well-being.
Identifying and articulating our needs is how we can live in harmony with our values, contributing greatly to our well-being and our societal well-being. Now, how will you feel when your needs are met?
October 2023—What Are You Really About? Each time I’ve faced transition, I’ve had to prune away the old, hold on to what matters, and stay open to what’s being reshaped (and I will confess that at times there was resistance). At the heart of that process is a continuous refinement of my needs—ever evolving with life.
Source of Inspiration
What I'll be reading
After finishing two dystopian novels, The Dream House and Our Missing Hearts, I felt the weight of their themes linger. The news was already heavy, and I needed a shift. So I picked up a small but compelling book, What Art Does: An Unfinished Theory, based on a friend’s recommendation. It was just the energetic reset I needed.
Though not exactly a light or fluffy read, it’s deeply thought-provoking. The book poses a powerful question: How do we punctuate our lives? It explores how art gives form to that punctuation.
Brian Eno and Bette A. write that what happens in our minds when we encounter art depends on our personal and cultural histories. They describe art as a form of adult play. A way to discover what we truly feel, what we value, and how we make sense of our individual and social choices. It helps us distinguish between our shallow likes and our deep ones.
Since civilization is, in their words, “a shared imagination,” the authors ask: How can art both bind us together and give us room to define ourselves?
Song that inspires
Some moments are layered with synchronicity. While reading Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Letters, Recipes, and Remembrances by Kwame Alexander, I noticed several references to jazz musician Cannonball Adderley. Naturally, I found myself reaching for their music.
There is something powerful about discovering, or rediscovering, music through a new lens. The sounds feel richer when they’re tied to story, memory, or emotion. That is what this moment invited: a return to music that stirs the soul, rooted in legacy and feeling.
Reflection
It is easy to build counterfeit connections; we’ve likely all done it. And we know (or at least sense) how messy relationships can be. They are subject to rupture. And when ruptures occur, sorrow often walks alongside the potential for growth—depending on the soil of the connection.
Lately, I’ve found myself drawn to K-dramas. They offer a wide spectrum of emotional complexity and rarely wrap up with the neat, bow-tied endings we often see in American storytelling. These shows have become an unexpected viewpoint (art form) and a different lens for working through difficult life events.
So I wonder: How do we empathetically hold space for one another’s human frailty? How do we move beyond surface-level connection and risk being intimately vulnerable with each other?
While I Still Have Your Attention
Thank you for spending time with BETA’s blog. I hope this month’s reflection sparked new thoughts on The Cost of Pushing Through and how we can collectively prioritize well-being.
When you’re ready to explore how BETA Coaching & Consulting can support your organization in strengthening employee well-being and business performance, I’d love to connect. Book a 1:1 with me.
Well-being is both deeply personal and universally desired. It shapes how we function individually and collectively, and how we experience our lives as a whole.
If this newsletter resonated with you, feel free to forward it to a colleague, friend, or loved one. And if you’re not already on our distribution list, I’d love to have you join (your email is always kept private).
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Thank you!
