For many of us, daily interactions are transactional—exchanging money for goods and services, trading skills and time for salaries and benefits. A structured give-and-take that defines much of how we engage with the world.
While this approach is familiar, being purely transactional isn’t always the most equitable or supportive way to build connection.
When we fail to critically examine how we interact and how those interactions shape our sense of connection, we risk falling into patterns of imbalance or even coercion. Especially when exchanges occur without consent, transparency, or mutual understanding.
If transactional relationships work for you, there’s no need to read further.
But if you’re even a little curious about deepening your relationships and shifting toward more meaningful, transformative connections, keep reading.
I like to think of relationships as a reciprocal roof, a structure supported by the needs of both parties, built on trustworthiness and a conscious choice to lean in. In this kind of relationship, parties trust each other and embrace vulnerability, while creating a space for connection to flourish.
A shift from translational relationships requires self and cultural awareness.
Many people believe they are self-aware, yet research by Tasha Eurich suggests only 15% of people are truly self-aware. That’s a wake-up call; we have work ahead of us, yet it’s not impossible.
As global citizens, where emotions, perspectives, and social norms shape moment-to-moment interactions, honing our relationships calls on emotional intelligence, understanding ourselves, the dynamics between us, and the larger systems we navigate.
Genuine connection takes curiosity, humility, and vulnerability. At the core is our self-awareness.
As Shawn A. Ginwright, PhD writes:
“Vulnerability is like a portal to our humanity… it requires the delicate balance between risk and safety… structural vulnerability, emotional vulnerability, and our collective experiences contained in empathy are ways to move relationships from transactional to transformative.”
Transformation requires clarity. Understanding what fuels our desire to shift from transactional to truly relational.
There’s risk in this shift—the uncertainty of stepping into the unknown, deconstructing carefully built self-concepts, and the discomfort of change.
But the reward?
A deeper, more authentic way of relating.
What’s required isn’t passive agreement. It calls for bidirectional communication, expressing needs, and the courage to negotiate to reach a shared understanding. It’s about showing up for the relationship itself—not for personal gain, but for mutual trust and growth.
Ultimately, this shift moves us away from a scarcity-driven mindset, where relationships are purely transactional, toward one grounded in mutual well-being and trust.
A revolutionary approach! Are you ready to embrace it?
Source of Inspiration
What I'll be reading
By the time you read this, I’ll likely be deep into Babel by R.F. Kuang. This 544-page historical fantasy epic is centered at Oxford University, were magical silver bars fuel Britain’s colonial expansion and global dominance.
The story follows Robin Swift, a Chinese boy taken under the wing of Professor Lovell to study at Oxford’s Royal Institute of Translation. Groomed for his linguistic abilities to further the riches of Babel and its interests. A review on Goodreads posed a compelling question:
“Can powerful institutions be reformed from within, or does true change require revolution?”
It’s a question that feels especially relevant in today’s global climate. I’m savoring this book, taking time to unpack its complex layers. More thoughts to come in the next blog!
Let’s inspire one another—what books are on your shortlist?
Song that inspires
Reflection
Please answer the question?
It’s frustrating when people—especially those in positional power—avoid answering questions directly. Is it a fear of accountability or is something deeper at play?
I find myself wondering:
- What will it take to create more honest, open conversations—ones that broaden perspectives and foster real cooperation?
- How can we communicate clearly and honestly while allowing space for compassion and understanding?
- What’s the way forward to restore integrity in our dialogue?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
While I Still Have Your Attention
Thank you for reading BETA’s Blog. I hope this month’s reflection sparked new thoughts on cultivating trust and connection in fractured systems—and how we can prioritize collective well-being.
Well-being is both subjective and universally desired. It’s about how we function personally and socially, and how we evaluate our lives as a whole.
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Thank you!
